a dream where i give you strange permission to pull the keep off my hair and let it down in dollops; these days i sleep close to the river or at least the sound of the earth moving when no one is looking; we laugh about the benthic zone but i know that i store the smell of stress there – turquoise bust of caesar looking disdainfully at civic acts; im asked to be on paper, please be signed up and signed in, take this coat and make it protect you, do what youve always done but let them see it, let them take the thing you most-loved about the chance, the truest part of doing good (that it happened in secret); sometimes after a shower i shake like a dog and hope the air up-and-outs all the badges i keep to remember that i ever did anything right; God doesnt take the time to punish anyone with accuracy – it’s in waves – i have to kill that man – i will kill everything that’s ever seen his face